Saturday, February 20, 2010
20 weeks. Halfway there!
When I look at pictures I think I look HUGE. But when I look in the mirror I am not this big. Maybe I reverse body dismorphia..lol
How far along? 20 weeks
Total weight gain: I will find out on Monday at my OB appointment. Judging from our crappy home scale I would say it's probably around 2-3 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Yep.
Sleep: I feel really lucky that I am sleeping fairly well. I am not uncomfortable yet and only get up once to pee (knock on wood).
Best moment this week: This was a pretty stressful work week, so the best moment was 5pm on Friday!..lol
Movement: Much more movement now. I am sort of beginning to know her sleep/wake patterns.
Gender: GIRL!!!
Labor Signs: none
Belly Button in or out? Still in, but getting more shallow.
What I miss: Feeling like doing any much more than surfing the internet and lounging.
What I am looking forward to: Getting that damn fabric sample. Where are you? Also we have our OB appointment Monday where we will go over the ultrasound and Quad screen results.
Weekly Wisdom: Stick to you guns and trust your intuition.
Milestones: Starting now, at 20 weeks the baby is measured from crown to heel. She is supposedly about 10 inches long (the size of a banana).
How far along? 20 weeks
Total weight gain: I will find out on Monday at my OB appointment. Judging from our crappy home scale I would say it's probably around 2-3 lbs.
Maternity clothes? Yep.
Sleep: I feel really lucky that I am sleeping fairly well. I am not uncomfortable yet and only get up once to pee (knock on wood).
Best moment this week: This was a pretty stressful work week, so the best moment was 5pm on Friday!..lol
Movement: Much more movement now. I am sort of beginning to know her sleep/wake patterns.
Gender: GIRL!!!
Labor Signs: none
Belly Button in or out? Still in, but getting more shallow.
What I miss: Feeling like doing any much more than surfing the internet and lounging.
What I am looking forward to: Getting that damn fabric sample. Where are you? Also we have our OB appointment Monday where we will go over the ultrasound and Quad screen results.
Weekly Wisdom: Stick to you guns and trust your intuition.
Milestones: Starting now, at 20 weeks the baby is measured from crown to heel. She is supposedly about 10 inches long (the size of a banana).
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
19 weeks
Ok ok I know this is late. I did take the picture on Friday, my week change day but just hadn't gotten around to posting until today. So this week you get two belly pictures!
How far along? 19 weeks
Total weight gain:
Maternity clothes? I finally bought a pair of maternity jeans from The Gap. I love them (I am wearing them in this weeks belly picture).
Sleep: Doing pretty good. I am a night owl by nature and I think the baby is too.
Best moment this week: Finding out the gender!
Movement: Yes. It's still faint. I can't wait to feel it more and stronger.
Gender: GIRL!!!
Labor Signs: none
Belly Button in or out? Shallow
What I miss: My mother
What I am looking forward to: The shopping has begun! I am working on picking out the nursery furniture and waiting on some fabric samples to get here so I can start planning.
Weekly Wisdom: Eh. I am not feeling very wisdomy this week.
Milestones: The baby now looks like a real baby on the ultrasound!
How far along? 19 weeks
Total weight gain:
Maternity clothes? I finally bought a pair of maternity jeans from The Gap. I love them (I am wearing them in this weeks belly picture).
Sleep: Doing pretty good. I am a night owl by nature and I think the baby is too.
Best moment this week: Finding out the gender!
Movement: Yes. It's still faint. I can't wait to feel it more and stronger.
Gender: GIRL!!!
Labor Signs: none
Belly Button in or out? Shallow
What I miss: My mother
What I am looking forward to: The shopping has begun! I am working on picking out the nursery furniture and waiting on some fabric samples to get here so I can start planning.
Weekly Wisdom: Eh. I am not feeling very wisdomy this week.
Milestones: The baby now looks like a real baby on the ultrasound!
Monday, February 15, 2010
The Big Ultrasound
For at least the last few weeks people keep asking us what we think we are having. My standard answer was always that I didn't have a feeling one way or the other but I was assuming it would be boy since Bobby's immediate family is all boys. Since Bobby has a son from a previous relationship, this will probably be our only baby. Bobby has one brother who also has a son. Of course my MIL put in her "order" for a girl, as if I could control that. I honestly just didn't have a feeling. I would sit and daydream, hoping that something would come. Some sort feeling or intuition of what this baby would be. Nothing. All around us people would guess, as people love to do. Most guessed girl, but Bobby and I would always reply that the odds were against it and we just wanted a healthy baby.
In the deep, dark recesses of my bitter heart I longed for a girl. I wouldn't let myself get my hopes up though. I was completely prepared for this baby to be a boy. I bought fabric for the nursery that is gender neutral but definitely boyish. The first baby purchase I made was a red Star Wars onesie (girls can like Star Wars right?). I knew if we found out this was a boy I would take a few days to mourn my dreams of a baby girl but would be ultimately joyous with a healthy baby boy. After so much loss in my life and it taking so long to get pregnant with this miracle, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. Boy, girl. Just let us have a healthy baby.
Bobby and I went to our BIG Ultrasound a week ago today. This was our first view of the baby since 7 weeks. I was slightly terrified. Not of finding out the gender, but of seeing something grossly wrong. As we waited to be called back I felt sick to my stomach with nerves. Bobby asked me why. Why? What if something was wrong? What if we would be faced to make the hardest decision of our lives? A small part of me wanted to run away. To not know. To hide under the covers, just me and this tiny life inside me, to be ignorant and oblivious to any evils.
We were called back by Raj, the ultrasound dude (I am not sure if he is a tech or a radiologist). Raj is a quiet soul. Very gentle in speech and mannerisms. I laid on the table and he squirted the warm gel all over my belly. He put the wand to my skin and we immediately saw the baby. Oh what a site! Here was a real baby, not the cockroach looking thing inside me at 7 weeks. He moved the wand and we were looking at the baby's butt and legs. I could see something between it's legs, but had no idea what I was seeing. I asked, "Is that the money shot?". He softly laughed and said, "No, that is the umbilical cord." We all had a good chuckle out of that.
He moved the wand around and said in his quiet soothing way...You are having a baby girl.
GIRL? I started tearing up. I turned to Bobby, who was sitting in a chair to my left. I didn't realize we were holding hands. He now squeezed mine and asked Raj, Are you sure? Yes, I'm positive, it's a girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. My mind was buzzing yet blank at the same time. I was sort of numb, not in a bad way, but numb.
The entire ultrasound took about 45 minutes. It was amazing. We saw all her parts. Brain, heart, kidneys, bladder, stomach, spine, face, legs, arms...you get the picture. What was amazing to me was how much she is moving around that I don't feel yet. She was opening and closing her hand, stretching out, arching her back. You know how people have those cute ultrasound pictures of their baby sucking their thumb? I don't have one of those, because our baby girl was picking her nose. Yep, picking her nose. Good job baby.
Unfortunately Raj isn't allowed to tell us if he sees any issues or problems. I have an appointment with my OB a week from today to go over the ultrasound and quad screen. Visually to our untrained eyes, everything looked like it was where it should be. Two arms, legs, feet, hands, one head and all that. I guess now we wait to make sure all the insides are ok and what our odds for downs and other defects are. I'd like to believe that if those are ok I can relax, but I have a feeling this motherhood worrying is just beginning.
A girl. As I type this a week later, I am tearing up (ok, honestly crying). Not because I am not happy. I am overjoyed. I cry because my mother isn't here to share in my joy. Oh I know she is "here" and all that bullshit. I mean really here. Physically here. Shopping here. Hugging here. Advice here. Annoying here. Telling all her friends and clients here.
I'm here. Bobby's here. Soon a baby girl will make her way here.
In the deep, dark recesses of my bitter heart I longed for a girl. I wouldn't let myself get my hopes up though. I was completely prepared for this baby to be a boy. I bought fabric for the nursery that is gender neutral but definitely boyish. The first baby purchase I made was a red Star Wars onesie (girls can like Star Wars right?). I knew if we found out this was a boy I would take a few days to mourn my dreams of a baby girl but would be ultimately joyous with a healthy baby boy. After so much loss in my life and it taking so long to get pregnant with this miracle, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. Boy, girl. Just let us have a healthy baby.
Bobby and I went to our BIG Ultrasound a week ago today. This was our first view of the baby since 7 weeks. I was slightly terrified. Not of finding out the gender, but of seeing something grossly wrong. As we waited to be called back I felt sick to my stomach with nerves. Bobby asked me why. Why? What if something was wrong? What if we would be faced to make the hardest decision of our lives? A small part of me wanted to run away. To not know. To hide under the covers, just me and this tiny life inside me, to be ignorant and oblivious to any evils.
We were called back by Raj, the ultrasound dude (I am not sure if he is a tech or a radiologist). Raj is a quiet soul. Very gentle in speech and mannerisms. I laid on the table and he squirted the warm gel all over my belly. He put the wand to my skin and we immediately saw the baby. Oh what a site! Here was a real baby, not the cockroach looking thing inside me at 7 weeks. He moved the wand and we were looking at the baby's butt and legs. I could see something between it's legs, but had no idea what I was seeing. I asked, "Is that the money shot?". He softly laughed and said, "No, that is the umbilical cord." We all had a good chuckle out of that.
He moved the wand around and said in his quiet soothing way...You are having a baby girl.
GIRL? I started tearing up. I turned to Bobby, who was sitting in a chair to my left. I didn't realize we were holding hands. He now squeezed mine and asked Raj, Are you sure? Yes, I'm positive, it's a girl. A girl. A girl. A girl. My mind was buzzing yet blank at the same time. I was sort of numb, not in a bad way, but numb.
The entire ultrasound took about 45 minutes. It was amazing. We saw all her parts. Brain, heart, kidneys, bladder, stomach, spine, face, legs, arms...you get the picture. What was amazing to me was how much she is moving around that I don't feel yet. She was opening and closing her hand, stretching out, arching her back. You know how people have those cute ultrasound pictures of their baby sucking their thumb? I don't have one of those, because our baby girl was picking her nose. Yep, picking her nose. Good job baby.
Unfortunately Raj isn't allowed to tell us if he sees any issues or problems. I have an appointment with my OB a week from today to go over the ultrasound and quad screen. Visually to our untrained eyes, everything looked like it was where it should be. Two arms, legs, feet, hands, one head and all that. I guess now we wait to make sure all the insides are ok and what our odds for downs and other defects are. I'd like to believe that if those are ok I can relax, but I have a feeling this motherhood worrying is just beginning.
A girl. As I type this a week later, I am tearing up (ok, honestly crying). Not because I am not happy. I am overjoyed. I cry because my mother isn't here to share in my joy. Oh I know she is "here" and all that bullshit. I mean really here. Physically here. Shopping here. Hugging here. Advice here. Annoying here. Telling all her friends and clients here.
I'm here. Bobby's here. Soon a baby girl will make her way here.
Friday, February 5, 2010
18 weeks
Bobby has been out of town since Saturday and will return this coming Sunday. I think he is going to be a bit surprised at how much I grew this week.
How far along? 18 weeks.
Total weight gain: Still at Zero according to my home scale. I don't know how that is possible with this belly.
Maternity clothes? Still need jeans.
Sleep: Bobby has been out of town all week, so I haven't had to deal with any snoring. I am waking up twice a night now to pee and am pretty tired.
Best moment this week: Going to Siesta Key to have dinner with the Cox ladies.
Movement: Still faint but there are more.
Gender: This Monday we will hopefully find out! Please cooperate baby.
Labor Signs: none
Belly Button in or out? Still in, Still shallow.
What I miss: Bobby! I cannot wait for him to come home.
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the gender Monday.
Weekly Wisdom: This is such a miracle. I am in awe of what my body is capable of. Every single need of this tiny little forming human is being met solely by what my body provides.
Milestones: I had my first sniss this week. For those how don't know a sniss is when you sneeze and it makes you piss. Good times.
How far along? 18 weeks.
Total weight gain: Still at Zero according to my home scale. I don't know how that is possible with this belly.
Maternity clothes? Still need jeans.
Sleep: Bobby has been out of town all week, so I haven't had to deal with any snoring. I am waking up twice a night now to pee and am pretty tired.
Best moment this week: Going to Siesta Key to have dinner with the Cox ladies.
Movement: Still faint but there are more.
Gender: This Monday we will hopefully find out! Please cooperate baby.
Labor Signs: none
Belly Button in or out? Still in, Still shallow.
What I miss: Bobby! I cannot wait for him to come home.
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the gender Monday.
Weekly Wisdom: This is such a miracle. I am in awe of what my body is capable of. Every single need of this tiny little forming human is being met solely by what my body provides.
Milestones: I had my first sniss this week. For those how don't know a sniss is when you sneeze and it makes you piss. Good times.
Friday, January 29, 2010
17 weeks
Wow, I don't think my belly looks this big in person but I could totally be in denial. I am slightly freaked out I am this big already, but I haven't gained even a pound yet, so I guess I'm doing good.
What I miss: Having a good satisfying pee. Now I feel like I have to pee a gallon and only two drops comes out.
Milestones: Nothing new this week.
How far along? 17 weeks.
Total weight gain: As of this past Monday still at Zero.
Maternity clothes? YES! I have been buying like crazy. Still need jeans.
Sleep: Horrible. Bobby has taken to horrid, loud, chainsaw snoring. For the first time ever I kicked him out of bed the other night. See above picture for proof of under eye circles.
Best moment this week: Hearing Bobby gush to one of his best friends from childhood about how excited we are for this baby.Movement: Lots of flutters and tapping. Also starting feeling what I would describe as rolling. Still very faint, but it's there
Gender: BIG u/s scheduled for Monday, February 8th!!!!Labor Signs: none
Belly Button in or out? Still in, but very shallow. The top inside part is bulging down and looks like there is a pea in there.What I miss: Having a good satisfying pee. Now I feel like I have to pee a gallon and only two drops comes out.
What I am looking forward to: Finding some fabulous jeans..lol
Weekly Wisdom: Take 90% of the advice people give you and throw it out the window.Milestones: Nothing new this week.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Coffee
My mother loved coffee. She drank at least a half a pot, with vanilla hazelnut creamer, before she even went to work. On the weekends she probably put away a whole pot before 11 am. She never drank it all day though, or at night. Just in the morning.
One of my favorite things about going to visit my mother, or her coming to stay with me, was that there was always coffee waiting for me when I got up in the morning. If she had drank it all (because lets face it, I like to sleep in), then she would put on a fresh pot. We would sit on my balcony or if at her house her bedroom, drink coffee sometimes for hours while we discussed what we would do that day, and what we would cook later. Many times there were mimosas, but that is another post. There was always laughter, advice, annoyance at times and lots of love.
Being pregnant I have had to cut back on my love of coffee unfortunately. This morning through, raw from my intro post last night, I made a half a pot of coffee. I added a generous splash of Italian cream creamer (my fav), sat on my balcony, looked out at the water and allowed myself to remember and let the memories wash over me. A neighbor below was on his balcony too. He lit up a cigarette, which would have normally annoyed me to no end. Today I inhaled the scent and knew that while my mother wasn't there in body, she was none the less sitting right next to me.
One of my favorite things about going to visit my mother, or her coming to stay with me, was that there was always coffee waiting for me when I got up in the morning. If she had drank it all (because lets face it, I like to sleep in), then she would put on a fresh pot. We would sit on my balcony or if at her house her bedroom, drink coffee sometimes for hours while we discussed what we would do that day, and what we would cook later. Many times there were mimosas, but that is another post. There was always laughter, advice, annoyance at times and lots of love.
Being pregnant I have had to cut back on my love of coffee unfortunately. This morning through, raw from my intro post last night, I made a half a pot of coffee. I added a generous splash of Italian cream creamer (my fav), sat on my balcony, looked out at the water and allowed myself to remember and let the memories wash over me. A neighbor below was on his balcony too. He lit up a cigarette, which would have normally annoyed me to no end. Today I inhaled the scent and knew that while my mother wasn't there in body, she was none the less sitting right next to me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)